definitely something very smooth, without any “penis head” shapes, you want to get used to just being able to work in a smooth toy that’s the thickness you want in and out and getting used to those feelings and how your butt muscles are reacting, until you can just fuck yourself with it without much practice, or prep. seems a bit hardcore but trust me, with enough playing you’ll start to see how to just release your butt muscles really, people think you just get super loose and all when you play with huge toys like i do and i can tell you they are completely wrong. it’s not something you can’t control. and it’s not about forcing something through a tight hole, soon enough you just figure out how to open up your hole yourself and when that happens you’re golden. so keep playing with it until you just feel your hole relaxing and releasing. as for a specific toy, check out chezpriape, it’s where i get my toys, and they’re well priced, not crazy prices like some toys online that are all silicone or whatever, i really like their toys because they don’t have phthalates (a chemical sometimes used in the rubber of toys) and i’m allergic to it (gives a burning sensation that’s instantly uncomfortable) - a lot of people share this allergy, so it’s ok if you find you are too, there are plenty of makers who have completely stopped using it in their toys and toys are usually marked as such too - so toys without them i find just generally better.
hopefully you have fun and explore with different shapes and sizes like i do eventually, anal play and stimulation is one of my favorite things.
some people like foot massages, some people like ass massages